i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
