finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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