So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
