With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
