Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
