there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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