Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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