If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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