Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
All the doctor said was why
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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