Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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