a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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