saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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