im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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