when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
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