just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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