I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
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