some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you didnt know i had herpes?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
