I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
