so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
