I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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