I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
