the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize