I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
