@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
