she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize