Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You pole danced in your parka.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize