A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
