so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
