Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
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