Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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