i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
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