she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
