i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize