If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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