When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
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