Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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