I should be sponsored by Trojan
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
