Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
