Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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