She's JV to your varsity
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize
