kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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