The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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