He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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