just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
