ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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