So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
i out mim tonsoeep
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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