I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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