Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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