We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
