i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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