I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
