But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I can text with my tongue
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
