Whoa Z and x make the same sound
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Dear god my vagina.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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