I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I think my nap took me to another dimension
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
