You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
