I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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