I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize