i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
